Human

How can you love when you like?
Why does temptation of like mess with love?
Why does temptation make you feel so overwhelmed with want, that you forget what truly is there?
Why is this even a question?
Why is this even a debate?
Love comes before like in everyway.
Love and Like are obviously two different things.
They can't compare.
They can't fight.
Love over rules Like.

Than why can't someone choose so easily?
Why are they so confused?
Whats the reasoning for liking something so much when you already have something thats everything to you?
Why do you question it?
Why do you look so dazed?
Why can't you decide?

Scared, not knowing which way, you sit and wonder, why can't I think? Why can't this be an easy answer? Why am I not satisfied with the one I'm with? Am I satisfied or not? Why am I questioning this! I should know.. But I don't.

Everything sitting infront of you. This is everything you've ever wanted. Everything you could see of. Everything you imagined and drew in your dreambook. Your dreams weren't shattered, just put upside-down. Nothings making sense, you just want to drown.

Once you make sense of one thing, something else disappears. You're a mess. A sinner. A disgrace in human skin. You feel horrid, wretched, and feel so revealed.

Somethings pulling you one way. While the other pulls you too. your so confused and lost and alone, you dont know what to do. So much running through your head, making you feel dizzy and out of line. Where was the bruises, the scars, that made me feel so unloved?

Out of order, out of line, your thoughts start coming clear. You're not an animal, not a sinner, not a thing who cant feel pain. You're a person, a loving creature, who wants nothing but to live.
You're Human.

Recently, I have made a youtube account with my cousin, Debra. Reasoning, we are told we are pretty funny. We don't think so. Esp. on camera. But, boredom gets the best of us, so why not? So, Monday we uploaded our first video. Now, we've done PLENTY of videos. But we've screwed up a million times or audio was off or something wasn't right. But our first was EPIC. Yes, Enzo is adorable, I knooow. He called me a loser! :O wrong. Today will be our second video attempt. Crossing my fingers. It will probably definitely be interesting. Its so weird, once the camera is off and we're just living, doing our own thing, we do funny, crazy things naturally. We always ask ourselves, WHY CAN'T WE DO THIS ON CAMERA! I guess it's just to much pressure, hhaha. I don't know. But I'm sure I'll get used to it soon.

So basically, we need ideas &/or topic of the days. We plan on making videos atleast once a week. HELP!

Well, check out our page. http://www.youtube.com/user/SpunkyTreeHuggers2. Its a little sketchy but we're working on it.(:

"Debra's" blog
tpc623.blogspot.com

Twitter name-
ThosePittsGirls

Gotta Get At Homelink!

SO, here's my day for you.
1. I found my blog was being talked about A LOT. & I didn't even know! (positive feedback.)

2. I getting extra credit in my class.

3. I 'm doing really good on my semester creative writing assignment so far.

4. I just realized something. Hannah Montana has stopped making episodes. BUT, recently they came up with a new show. A.N.T Farm. Now, A.N.T Farm is funny I guess if you enjoy those cheesy lines. I noticed though there are many similarities between the two shows.
Lets compare:

Big brother
Brother is not gifted
Brother is lame and uncool
Best Girl Friend       
Best Guy Friend
Main character is girl
Main character can sing
Main character is very talented
Main character is stylish
Main character is 13/14 on show (Hannah Montana started out at age 13/14 on show)

You get my point. Many, many, many similarities. The only difference is their race. (This isn't a racist comment BTW). I just found this funny.

I also watched a movie today with House in it. Really weird considering when he acts for House, he's very serious, not to lively, harsh sense of humor, but brilliant.
In the movie The Code of The Woosters, he was a very lively, loud, outspoken man and dumbed down. Even better, HE HAD A BRITISH ACCENT! Waaaah!? That's awesome.

&
Reading a book called Farewell Too Arms. This book, which is uncensored in my book, is in my opinion, awesome. I truly love it so far. Yes, I know it's very inappropriate in many ways. Sexual, strong language, alcohol use, etc. But honestly, I admire this writer. He is an amazing writer. He freely wrote even though many critics were chomping at the bits to ruin him. Did that stop him? No. Not At All. He is possibly my new favorite author and inspiration.

Long story short, like this wonderful author, I tend to get lost in my imagination. I write for hours on end sometimes doodling down everything and anything. It doesn't seem to bother me when I put inappropriate things down either. That's writing, isn't it? You write what you enjoy writing. You write what you think of in your head, not what others do. If you don't enjoy it, how can you write over 100 pages on something with full detail, description, etc. with no interest in your book? You have to be connected with your writing. You have to love what you write. Bottom line, you write what you enjoy to write. That's why your the author.

Well, that's about it for now. Thanks for reading my blog(s). I really enjoy hearing feedback. So please, feel free to comment. Thanks again guys! I plan on being on more often to write. (secretly, I really enjoy this.)  Lol, Buhh-bye ! (: <3

Just Felt Like Blogging For The Heck Of It

FIFTY RANDOM FACTS.

1. I love green.
2. I have blonde hair which is fake bee-tee-dubbs.
3. I love extensions. Esp. feathered extensions.
4. I have three piercings in my ears.
5. I have my mom's beautiful blue eyes.
6. I really love to play sports.
7. I love fashion and makeup, but deep down, I'm a total tomboy.
8. I don't really know much vocabulary. I'm horrible at remembering it, always have.
9. I love boots.
10. I was suppose to get braces on two years ago. Still not gonna happen.
11. I'm a good friend.
12. I don't care what anyone says.
13. I have always been there when people need me.
14. I'm orignal.
15. I love photography.
16. I love to write.
17. I do have some anger management issues.
18. Sometimes when I get into a bad stage in life, I feel very overly depressed and overwhelmed.
19. I take medicine.
20. Lifes unfair. I learn to deal with it.
21. Right now, I have a lot of expectations and a lot of people counting on me to do things I originally wouldn't do.
22. I coach/ref volleyball.
23. I coach/ref basketball.
24. My family is hardcore old school. We just got WiFi at my house because school work needed it.
25. My sister JUST got a laptop. That's the only computer in my house.
26. We have cable in three rooms in the house. That's it.
27. We don't have a home phone only cell phones.
28. We have old TVs in my house.
29. Our cell phones are decent ones but not all pimped out.
30. The only game system in the house is a PlayStation.
31. We are legit not materialistic people.
32. I buy my clothes from EBay, Goodwill, Plato's Closet, and mostly Value Village.
33. My three obsessions above everything else is my shoes, hair, and makeup.
34. I have considered being a physical therapist but my true passion is being a beautician.
35. I bite my nails when I'm nervous, bored, and unconsiously.
36. My hair sucks butt. It doesn't grow. No Joke.
37. I work two jobs, coach volleyball, play basketball, go to two schools & have an amazing boyfriend that keeps my schedule busy.
38. My boyfriend's name is Connor and the 25th is going to be our fourth month together.
39. I have a crazy best friend named Vanessa and even though she's different, I love it.
40. I'm very skinny and short but I'm fun-sized, don't hate.
41. My True Haters Are My Motivators.
42. I enjoy the little things in life.
43. I listen to ALL kinds of music. My variety ranges FAR.
44. I love kids. I want two kids when I'm a mom.
45. For my first tattoo, I'm going to get an angel on on a cloud for my sister who passed, Hannah Faith.
46. I have very religious friends that I respect, but I've made many mistakes in life, and sometimes I'm afraid people whom feel its wrong will judge me for it, esp. my friends.
47. I have an overly obsessive obsession with Hello Kitty.
48. I have a weird, ackward laugh.
49. I really dislike when people correct my grammar. I know I'm not that smart with spelling or big words or vocabulary, but really? Is that necessary?
50. I really like to text. I'm not good with words in person, but for some reason, when it comes to writing, I can write for hours. Example: Texting. I can have a conversation with somebody for over two days.

FACT WITHOUT A NUMBER.
I follow everyone's blog at Homelink. & add them on Facebook. Some people find that creepy and weird. I don't. It's an easy way of getting to know somebody. Easy way to start up a conversation, and everything else. If it's so creepy, why do you add me?
& last but not least I call people child-ish names for fun. Not to be mean. They know this.


Well, time to do rest of my homework.
Bloggedy-blog-blog!
That means Thanks for reading in blog language.

I'm going to own this dog one day. <3

Why You Gotta Be So Mean?

Today after homelink, I really started to rethink going on Tuesdays for fun. I really enjoy seeing friends. SO many crack me up. I love it. There are sooo many people who smile at you. Talk to you randomly. And just super nice!! I really wanted to start going on Tuesdays BECAUSE I love all these crazy people.

First time we went, was SO MUCH FUN. It was ridiculous at how much fun I truly had.

This is our second time going. &.. well.. TO MUCH DRAMA FOR ME.
"What on earth is going on?" I was thinking.

Long story short,
after being claustrophobic in a tiny corner at the back of the cafeteria for like 5 hours, you can imagine I was well over overwhelmed. On top of that over ten people were gathered in a tiny bunch. No, normally this wouldn't bug me at all. But in this cramped tiny corner, I felt buried in. Well, before lunch, a group of girls decided to talk major crap on another girl. My personal opinion, it was wrong.

They weren't even talking about me & I was getting mad and aggravated. No its not cool to talk about someone when they're away. Honestly, what did she do to you? You couldn't even give an example when asked. Because that girl did nothing to deserve it. I don't even know her personally and I know she had done nothing to them. I knew she wasn't a viscous, mean, rude, fake person like they say she is. Even if she is, why are you putting so much energy on tearing her down in front of a group of people? Do you think its cute? Do you think it makes you look cool? Do you honestly think you were doing  a good thing? You didn't impress me. You made your self look terrible. My thoughts and respect for you is very little now. Was putting on that show really worth it?

Its very sad. God wants us to love one another. But yet, here we are behind people's backs trashing them for no reason at all. You think she's annoying? Why do you call her your best friend to her face? That was the saddest part. This girl, who was torn apart, chewed up, and spit out, walks in the cafeteria. What did this group of people do? "Let's go sit down buddy."

This is the true meaning of two-faced. It really bugged me. What if I was that girl? What if I was oblivious to my so-called "friends" calling me these horrible names? What if I was trashed in less than five minutes in front of an audience & made a fool? What if?

That's honestly all I can say about this topic..
I was very disappointed with today and the overwhelming drama. I was astonished with people's behavior. It wasn't right..
All I know is, I can only control myself and my behavior. I will see many things in life I don't agree with. & many things I know isn't right. I don't have control of others. All I need to do is worry about my doings, and stay positive.
There will be many mean people in this world. Many Haters. I've learned that. All I can do for them is pray. Pray for the sinners and for the hurt ones.

God Is The Overall Judge.
Pray.
Hate the sin.
Love the sinner.
<3

Stay True

I've been fighting what road to take.
Than I wonder if I'm making the right decisions.
I've been everything I'm not for the longest time.
Trying to figure out who I truly am.
Trying to be me.

I'm trapped inside this mirror of lies and consequences.
But when the lies end and the suffering fades,
I'll live the life I've being searching for.
I'll love others the way I should be.
I'll fight for what's right & never give up.
But most importantly,
I'll love myself and except myself for who I am
and who I'm honestly not.

 <3

Love Life.
Never Lose Faith.
Always Smile.
Always,
Stay True.
Be You.

La-de-de-da.

ITS WEDNESDAY!
yesss. finally.

Todays plans:
Coach my volleyball team at 4.
Work at 5.
Finish my last minute homework throughout the night.
Stay the night at my grandmas.
Text the people I love!
If you don't have my number, get it.

This is what we do on our spare time.

'I moo-stache you a question. But i can shave-it for later" ♥
Yes. Suprisingly, this is more entertaining than it appears to be.
Be-t-dubbs.
Yesterday during a class in homelink, a guy had ants coming out of his bookbag. Reasoning? He had a BUTTLOAD OF CANDY.
Now, I wanted a jolly rancher so we were picking out kinds we wanted. Lovely enough, there were ants stuck to the sticky candy. Yum.

I like lots and lots of colorful stuff. Its true. Neon, vibrant colors.

Thursday! I'm.Wearing.Boots. Not just any boots. My Favorite Boots. ♥
CUTE BOOTS. I love boots.

So, I took alot of pictures this week just for fun. & realized something. I don't like getting my picture taken, but I love to take them? say what? how crazy.

Udpate on my life:

I got a doggy! Yes I Did. We saved her from the humane society. Hereos. She's 2 years old. A mix of a doberman and beagle. She's ridiculously cute. Friendly. And also thinks shes a lap-dog. She's small but not that small. She's seriously lovable. Picture? YES.

& my grandma's new kitty I oh so adore, Chatty Catty. She talks alot, hence the name.

Well, pretty positive I don't have anything else to mention. Follow mee! (: ♥ Thanks for reading. Cyaa!

HOMELINK

Hey Guyssss.Yes, second night in a row, crazy right?
oKaY, SO.

Today was AWESOMEE.
Truly was. I hung with my buddies at homelink Tyler, Kellin, Keaton, Kayla, Kali, & met new people like Stetson, etc. These. People. Are. Awesome. I forgot some names but I was bumbarded (probably spelt that wrong) with new faces and names under two minutes.

Anywhosiess,
I did have a good day at Homelink. I'm glad I finally started making friends here. To be honest.. Last year I really didn't feel welcomed. I had no friends there. When I went to events, I didn't talk to anybody but my family. I know a lot of it is my fault. I seem very put to myself & shy which throws many people off. Socially ackward? No, I'm not. I just really don't like walking up to people I don't know and just start a random conversation with them. As Tyler likes to call it, I'm surrounded by my "shy bubble". Tyler, I have named my shy bubble, Bubbly Petunia. YES.

Thursday is another day at homelink but I don't stay as long. Normally Tuesdays I don't stay past 11 p.m. but since my mom's van broke down & my cousin stays till 2:30 anyways, me & my other cousin decided to take a little adventure and step outside of our "bubbles". Truthfully, I'm not as shy as Kayla, but I also feel wierd if I step out to far at first.

Anyways, I've met new people which is awesome considering its nice having people from "my school" actually befriend me. At my old school, I was bullied alot. Maybe that's why I'm very insecure sometimes about myself. I've broken the habit of feeling like I have to wear a lot to be somebody. I've accepted myself for who I am. & I'd never admit to this. Until now. On my awesome blog.

My passion for writing can go a long way. I can say so much by writing it down on paper, but have nothing like that to say in person. I guess I was born to write on paper or text even. Not to verbally express myself.

I'm still trying to figure out who I am. Everyday I suprise myself with something new. The things I like, for example, solid colored t-shirts, have started to slowly fade away from my interest and now I like cute designs and even plaid. Something I would have NEVER worn or considered buying before. Thats just it though. I'm not changing because I'm trying to be something I'm not. I'm changing because life changes you. Everyone changes. At one point, I was changing in bad ways. Others, in good. I wouldn't take any of it back though. What I've done in the past that I do & don't regret have shaped me into me. I am who I am because of my stupidity and my intellegence. I'm me from all the different things I try and do. Some things I've hated I now enjoy, like this blog. I never could imagine sitting here writing for twenty minutes, not even ten, typing about random things. But here I am typing away. Its different for me. Its life.

Better In Time

After many hours of STARING at a blank white paper, I decided it was time to put it up & open the laptop. Which leads me to this wonderful blog. So, today I will be telling you about my great adventure. I woke up at 7:30 a.m. My older sister goes to Meramec for her classes today. I also got a 32 oz soda at QT before dropping her off. It was nice since I need to go to rehab for my coke addiction. Anyways, I went on Facebook as my daily routine always goes, to a message I definitely didn't want to see. I won't be posting what it said or whom said it, but just to let you know, it hurt me deeply. Anyways, after that I guess you can imagine I had a very bad day. My head was aching ALL day. Nothing could get rid of it. After going from In A Relationship to Single to Married to Single to In A Relationship on Facebook all in one day, I guess you can see the drama included without even knowing the details. Frustrated, confused, and still recovering from the horrible weekend of the flu, today was just not my cup of tea. But than, my awesome friends always manage to come to the rescue. They made me smile. Even laugh. After this hectic day, it didn't seem that was even possible. But of course. My friends proved me wrong. This time, I was beyond happy they did. I guess you could say it was a Fairy Tale Story. You have the okay beginning. Than the vicious plot in the middle. And last but not least, The Happy Ending. I made ammence with my boyfriend, figured out the problem, and ended up picking up that piece of paper and writing down, "Wright Brothers Facts". A good way to start my paper.

Oh! One more thing. I wrote in my Reader's Journal. As bizzarre as that seems, it made me feel better. I looked at my teacher like she was crazy, writing in a journal. I never saw the point. But after reading alot she gave for homework and taking the advice, I'm already becoming a better writer. Even a better poet! Its honestly great seeing this improvement. It was like that stage in your life when you feel like your at the end, there's nothing left to see or learn. I really thank my teacher for furthering my education on writing. Without it, I don't know what I'd do.

Thank You Mrs. Musick. <3

Okay, Venting Over. Time to get to that paper. Ugh! (: Ta-ta!

Just Carry On

Got caught.
nice shot.
feeling lost.
your out of thoughts.
never said it?
I just read it.
Bummer huh?
Summers done.
fooled me once.
Not gonna be twice.
Managed to quit.
Why did you pull this -ishh.
Now Im gone.
Just carry on.
Watch me leave.
Just sit and grieve.
Dueces.

December

I spend so much time trying to make her happy, but I'm losing myself along the way.
Time is ticking by. All I seem to find is disappointment and always going the wrong way.
I feel lost. So misplaced. So out of the game.
No matter how the dice rolls, I'll never have the fame.
When everything seems to be coming together, it never stays the same.
A smile is put on her face, than slowly disinegrates.
She seems like herself, just how I remember. Than she changes.
Hiding under a mask. I doubt she'll come back this December.
After so many tears, I feel no more fear, its all becoming clear.
If I look at her like I always have and stay tamed, she'll claim me hers again, never be ashamed, be glad I never blamed, and realize I still love her to this very day, the same.

Writing, Writing, Write.

So, I've joined alot of blogging sites before this, but I've managed to abandon them all after a month. I plan to stay committed to this one. Bare with me.
I've always had a fascination with Edgar Allan Poe. His poet managed to catch my attention right away which I can't say about many. Reading isn't exactly what I do on my extra time.Not only did he connect with me with his poetry, but he also enjoyed writing short stories, like myself. Not only did I love his beautiful poetry, but I most of all adored his gruesome, dark, short stories. After reading his stories, I became inspired to start writing my many thoughts onto a piece of paper. After hours of scribbling down everything that popped in my head, I decided this was something i really enjoyed. From then on, I called myself a writer.

Even though I went to a lovely Catholic School throughout my elementary years, my creative writing was frowned upon by my English teacher. Many short stories were given horrible grades, not because of a dull plot, bad grammar, etc. It wasn't graded by its merit, but from its demonic sense. I felt this was unfair because creative writing is never wrong. Its abstract.

Many stories I have writen, I will post on my site. 
Writing has become a very big part of my life and I will continue all throughout it.

If your ever interested in reading a few of Poe's stories, the link below is a wonderful site to not only learn a little about this writer, but also read many of his works.

http://poestories.com/index.php